Dove: The Best a Man Can Get

Lately I’ve been having some skin sensitivity and went to see a specialist in St. Louis to get some advice.  The appointment was very helpful and I was given a list of things to change in my daily lifestyle.  Just to name a few of her recommendations:  I needed to switch all laundry detergent and fabric softener to unscented brands.  Lotions and soaps also need to be unscented, and Dove soap was recommended.  She asked if I had a significant other in my life and when I said yes she told me it’s very important that he use the same unscented soap and would he mind doing that?  I told her of course not, it’s just an unscented bar of soap.  Right?


I drove back to Fairfield the next day and Gabriel immediately asked me how the appointment went because he is an incredibly caring boyfriend.  He truly has been so sweet, always expressing concern for me and listening to me when I needed someone to talk to.  So I recapped everything and then mentioned the doctor wants him to also use this unscented bar of soap.  I ran over to my bag and pulled out the Dove bar, placing it in front of him and asked if he minded using this as his soap.  Goodness gracious, you should have seen the look on his face!   He picked up the box, and said “Dove??” with as much disgust as he could muster in his voice.  You would have thought I placed a box of floral scented tampons in front of him and told him he needed to start using them.  I wasn’t aware that an unscented bar of soap with a picture of a dove on the box was considered too feminine for a manly man to use.  I also wasn’t aware that Gabriel has a panel of tiny spectators in his shower judging the masculinity of his shower products.  Well, you learn something new every day right?

5 days later the bar of soap is still sitting on my table waiting to go home with Gabriel.

Here is my plan of action…

Gabriel’s response: Hahaha, what we have here is a classic case of miscommunication! When Julia told me about using Dove soap, I had the same reaction as if she’d gone to the dentist about a chronic toothache and came back with the brilliant and insightful professional advice to use Crest toothpaste when brushing her teeth. Like, wtf?! My surprise was that it was something so mundane and generic. I then immediately forgot all about it, until 5 days later when I received Julia’s modified Dove box picture in an email. It actually took me half a minute to figure out what in the world it was all about, then it hit me: “Ohhhh, I actually need to use this soap! And she thinks I have issues with its manliness.” lol!

Julia: You never listen to me!!

Gabriel: Hm? Hey, is there any yoghurt left?

Julia: Edward would listen to me.

Gabriel: [checks fridge]